Last BCP today!

I'm so pumped - tonight I'll take my last BCP. After that, I just sit back and wait for CD1. Hopefully it comes before my baseline which is scheduled for Wednesday morning. Last cycle, it didn't start until the afternoon on the day of baseline. I'd prefer to be ready to go before I head into the clinic on Wednesday. We'll see if my body cooperates.

I'm really, really excited to get started again. I feel so much better about everything than I did last cycle. Probably just because I know what to expect. I know how to mix the medications. I know how to do the injections. I know how my body reacts to the medicines (hopefully that doesn't change because I think I had it really easy). I know that the waiting feels like. I know how long it takes for my clinic to call with news.

And I know what it feels like to get a BFN on an IVF cycle.

We're trying a new protocol too. It could go either way. Maybe this protocol will help my produce better quality embryos. Maybe it will be a complete disaster. There's nothing that I can do to change the outcome though so I'm just trying to hope for the best.

Last cycle, we told both sets of parents (who then had permission to tell our siblings). No one else knew what was going on (except for you guys here, TB, and IDOB). This time, I requested that we keep it to just ourselves and my parents and siblings. I was worried that that would be very unfair to Seth, but he is fine with it. He didn't and doesn't feel the need to talk to his family during the process, but I do. I talk to my mom almost every day as it is and last cycle we talked at least once a day. Seth is awesome, but he's a not a woman and he's never been pregnant so there are just some things that he can't relate to. I need my mom and I know there's not a chance in hell that my dad or sisters would ever say anything to anyone. I don't feel that confident about Seth's family. Especially now that my BIL, SIL, and their friends know we're headed for IVF - I don't want the pressure of them knowing when it's happening and asking for news.

To be honest, I can't even see myself wanting to share any news if I ever actually get pregnant. I used to think it would so exciting to finally get to tell everyone that we were having a baby, but I don't feel that way right now. If I could, I really think I would wait until the baby popped out to share it with anyone (other than my family). I'm not sure why I feel that way. It's probably just fear, I'm sure.

Anyway, despite that, I AM hopeful. Hopefully, two weeks from now I'll be getting ready for another egg retrieval!

IVF #2 Progress Report
Status: Suppression phase
BCPs: 19 down, 1 to go!!
Days until baseline: 4