Saturday, April 12, 2014

Last BCP today!

I'm so pumped - tonight I'll take my last BCP. After that, I just sit back and wait for CD1. Hopefully it comes before my baseline which is scheduled for Wednesday morning. Last cycle, it didn't start until the afternoon on the day of baseline. I'd prefer to be ready to go before I head into the clinic on Wednesday. We'll see if my body cooperates.

I'm really, really excited to get started again. I feel so much better about everything than I did last cycle. Probably just because I know what to expect. I know how to mix the medications. I know how to do the injections. I know how my body reacts to the medicines (hopefully that doesn't change because I think I had it really easy). I know that the waiting feels like. I know how long it takes for my clinic to call with news.

And I know what it feels like to get a BFN on an IVF cycle.

We're trying a new protocol too. It could go either way. Maybe this protocol will help my produce better quality embryos. Maybe it will be a complete disaster. There's nothing that I can do to change the outcome though so I'm just trying to hope for the best.

Last cycle, we told both sets of parents (who then had permission to tell our siblings). No one else knew what was going on (except for you guys here, TB, and IDOB). This time, I requested that we keep it to just ourselves and my parents and siblings. I was worried that that would be very unfair to Seth, but he is fine with it. He didn't and doesn't feel the need to talk to his family during the process, but I do. I talk to my mom almost every day as it is and last cycle we talked at least once a day. Seth is awesome, but he's a not a woman and he's never been pregnant so there are just some things that he can't relate to. I need my mom and I know there's not a chance in hell that my dad or sisters would ever say anything to anyone. I don't feel that confident about Seth's family. Especially now that my BIL, SIL, and their friends know we're headed for IVF - I don't want the pressure of them knowing when it's happening and asking for news.

To be honest, I can't even see myself wanting to share any news if I ever actually get pregnant. I used to think it would so exciting to finally get to tell everyone that we were having a baby, but I don't feel that way right now. If I could, I really think I would wait until the baby popped out to share it with anyone (other than my family). I'm not sure why I feel that way. It's probably just fear, I'm sure.

Anyway, despite that, I AM hopeful. Hopefully, two weeks from now I'll be getting ready for another egg retrieval!

IVF #2 Progress Report
Status: Suppression phase
BCPs: 19 down, 1 to go!!
Days until baseline: 4


  1. I'm so excited for you to be moving on :) I feel the exact same way about sharing the news of a pregnancy if that should ever happen for us. I used to think I'd want to shout it from the mountain tops, but now I'm thinking that I wouldn't even want to do an announcement at all. Maybe it's just that I've closed the door to that possibility because of all the failure we've faced recently. Or maybe it's just that IF ruined the fun and innocence. Either way, I'm glad you've decided to keep your cycle more pregnant. You have to protect yourself at this time and do what is good for you!

  2. Yay for being done with BCP!! I'm wishing you the best of luck, hopefully this is your cycle!

  3. Yay for BCP being done! FX for you lovey!!

  4. Very exciting! Lots of luck to you this cycle with the new protocol!

  5. Woo hoo, done with BCPs!!! I can appreciate not wanting people asking if you know yet, how are you feeling about it, knowing the exact timeline, etc. I am crossing everything for you!!! <3

  6. Oh man, FX for you Ana!!! I really, really hope all goes well for you!!!