Well, this morning we got the news that our embryos are doing well so we've been scheduled for a day 5 transfer. Great! Right? I'm happy, of course, but still very nervous. I have no idea how many embryos are still growing or how many look good. We just have to hope that the lab made the right call and pray that our embies keep growing nice and strong.
Obviously, it looks like Dr. M still planning to go through with the fresh transfer. This makes me even more nervous. At least with the embryos, what happens to them is completely out of my control. In terms of transfer vs. freeze-all, I get to make the final decision. I'm scared. I feel great - almost totally normal. I don't have an ounce of weight gain, no tenderness or soreness. I had pretty significant stomach pains, but I'm confident that that was from the antibiotics. I started taking some probiotics and that is improving too.
I'm concerned because even if I don't have any symptoms of OHSS now, if we went through with the transfer and it was successful I would be at a very high risk for late onset OHSS. I've read enough stories online to know that that is not something to take lightly. It sounds absolutely miserable at best and can be life-threatening in the worst cases.
There was also a study published last year that found that women who conceived from a fresh cycle transfer with pre-retrieval E2 levels above 3450 pg/mL were more likely to have complications like preeclampsia and their babies were more likely to have low-birth weight. My level after trigger was 6000. I'm not sure if the study meant a pre- or post-trigger level of 3450 pg/mL, because they also stated that they recommend freeze-all when pre-trigger levels are over 4500 pg/mL (mine was not). Either way, it gives me a lot to consider.
I'm so worried about making this decision. And while I'm really grateful that we have the embryos that make this decision necessary, I'm really angry that we have to make this choice at all. Regular people just get pregnant. People with IF have so many different things to consider, so many opportunities to blame ourselves (even though I know we don't deserve the blame).
I'm considering flipping a coin, just so I can avoid the pressure and guilt.
As always, advice and opinions are very welcome from anyone.