Well, this morning we got the news that our embryos are doing well so we've been scheduled for a day 5 transfer. Great! Right? I'm happy, of course, but still very nervous. I have no idea how many embryos are still growing or how many look good. We just have to hope that the lab made the right call and pray that our embies keep growing nice and strong.
Obviously, it looks like Dr. M still planning to go through with the fresh transfer. This makes me even more nervous. At least with the embryos, what happens to them is completely out of my control. In terms of transfer vs. freeze-all, I get to make the final decision. I'm scared. I feel great - almost totally normal. I don't have an ounce of weight gain, no tenderness or soreness. I had pretty significant stomach pains, but I'm confident that that was from the antibiotics. I started taking some probiotics and that is improving too.
I'm concerned because even if I don't have any symptoms of OHSS now, if we went through with the transfer and it was successful I would be at a very high risk for late onset OHSS. I've read enough stories online to know that that is not something to take lightly. It sounds absolutely miserable at best and can be life-threatening in the worst cases.
There was also a study published last year that found that women who conceived from a fresh cycle transfer with pre-retrieval E2 levels above 3450 pg/mL were more likely to have complications like preeclampsia and their babies were more likely to have low-birth weight. My level after trigger was 6000. I'm not sure if the study meant a pre- or post-trigger level of 3450 pg/mL, because they also stated that they recommend freeze-all when pre-trigger levels are over 4500 pg/mL (mine was not). Either way, it gives me a lot to consider.
I'm so worried about making this decision. And while I'm really grateful that we have the embryos that make this decision necessary, I'm really angry that we have to make this choice at all. Regular people just get pregnant. People with IF have so many different things to consider, so many opportunities to blame ourselves (even though I know we don't deserve the blame).
I'm considering flipping a coin, just so I can avoid the pressure and guilt.
As always, advice and opinions are very welcome from anyone.
I can relate to this a lot. My E2 right before trigger was over 8,000. They changed my protocol to a Lupron trigger to avoid OHSS. Even then, we were scheduled for a "tentative" day 5 transfer. We went in on ET day and they evaluated me there, decided I was ready for transfer, and we transferred two embryos. The other option was to do a freeze all. I did not get OHSS, thankfully. But I remember being stressed out, overwhelmed, and just angry that I was in that position in the first place. You're not alone in your feelings. I hope everything goes well for you. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing, Krystal! I will definitely ask my doctor to evaluate me before we make a final decision. I want him to check my lining again for sure. I'm also going to request to speak with the embryologist to find out exactly how our embryos are doing this time. Last time they told us we may have some to freeze, but in reality there was only one and they weren't very hopeful.
Delete((Hugs)) Ana, I'm sorry you have to make this decision. I definitely agree with having your doctor evaluate you before transfer. I also might base the decision on what your embryos look like. If it looks like you'd be able to transfer 1-2 and still have a number that they're relatively confident will make it to freeze, I'd probably do that. But if there's only 1-2 good looking embryos and the rest are questionable (which hopefully won't be the case), I'd probably do a freeze-all. Good luck whatever you decide!
ReplyDeletePacker, that's exactly what I said to my doctor on retrieval day - that if we had more embryos this time, I would want to try transferring at least one and freeze the rest. Now that I've had time to think about it, I'm afraid that I will feel guilty if the one we transfer doesn't make it. Like we didn't really give it a fair chance, you know? Thanks so much for your input - it's nice to hear that my thoughts are totally crazy!
Delete