Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Holy. Shit.

I picked up my injectable meds today. Surprise - I cried. I always cry when I'm overwhelmed though. It was worse than I hoped for but not as bad as it could be. The total bill was $2755. I think for a fresh IVF cycle, that's not bad but for us it's a huge amount of money. Looking on the bright side, when you consider the discount we got on the actual IVF cycle bill it's kind of like getting the meds for free. Except there's a little bit of bullshit going on with our cycle bill. I don't feel like dealing with that today though.

Anyway, here is the obligatory meds shot, all set up on my IVF station. It's a tighter squeeze than I expected on my little table.


That's a 2 week supply of Lupron, 12 vials of Gonal-F, 24 vials of Menopur, 10,000 units of Novarel, and 15 days worth of Crinone. Plus an ass load of needles and other injection paraphernalia. 

I hate the Menopur already. First of all, it was more than half the total bill. Second, you have to mix it. I've worked in geochemistry lab for 6 years so I should be used to this, but I've never had to inject my solutions into myself. Third of all, the needle is fucking enormous. I didn't expect that at all. I thought the 22 gauge needle for the Novarel would be the scariest thing since that's the only intramuscular (IM) injection, but when I opened up the bags and found dozens of 18 gauge needles I knew I was mistaken.


I don't think I can do it. I did a Google search to find a picture and the first site that came up was a veterinary supply store. The 18 gauge needle says "for horses". It's a fucking horse needle. I don't understand how that is going to make it's way into my stomach. I don't think it will. Hopefully someone who has used Menopur can tell me that I'm overreacting. If not, please lie to me.

ETA/Update: I went through all of my supplies again and it's true - the 18 gauge needle is just for mixing the Menopur! The Gonal-F needles were hiding in the boxes with the vials, so the perfectly innocent looking 25's must be for the actual injection. Thank God. And thank you doodmama and tigger!

7 comments:

  1. LOL! It's happening!
    Also, the 18 gauge for me were JUST for filling the syringe and then I had to switch back to the 22 gauge one! Make sure you check on that, because I bet there's something similar to do for you and you won't have to give yourself the horse needle!

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    1. Oh my gosh I hope so! The 22 gauge is still pretty big, but I'd rather use that one than the 18.

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    2. The 22 gauge is definitely big, but not as bad as it looks! I freaked myself out about it and then when we did it, I barely felt it! Make sure it goes in at a 90 degree angle and it's done swift enough to get through fast. Also, I had my husband give it to me on my third deep breath in....breathing in deep while getting the shot made me feel it less! Then of course massage it and stretch your legs out a bit so you don't get knots from the meds!

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  2. What the other girls said. The 18 gauge was just for mixing then switch to the 22 to inject. I really hope you don't have to use the 18.

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    1. I hope so too! I'll have to look in the box again and see what else is there.

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  3. Even with the revelation on the needles, you (and anyone who does this to have a child) are a superhero to me. I can't even imagine. My fear of needles is bone deep, and I know I could not have done this. Once a month to get blood drawn for my thyroid was enough to have me hyperventilating for days prior. SO MANY HUGS.

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  4. WTF, where did my comment go?? Hmmm...to recap, yay for not having to use the horse needle!! I know it's daunting, but I know you can do this!! I am excited for you and keeping everything crossed that this will be it for you!!! <3

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