Monday, June 3, 2013

Time for a Break

Since my follow-up appointment with the RE is on Wednesday morning, I wanted to do a little research to try to prepare myself for what Dr. M might say to me. SURPRISE! Big mistake. After a few Google searches on "partially blocked tubes" and "HSG dye delay" led me to some pages discussing "fimbrial end tubal blockages", I am officially freaked out.

I had prepared myself for that fact that chronic pelvic pain combined with a weird tube might be reason enough for Dr. M to recommend that we move straight to laparoscopic surgery. I had not prepared myself for the news that fimbrial end blockages (which is what I may have) are not always easily fixed - according to Google searches only, of course. Apparently, when the blockage is at the end of the tube closest to the ovary it is harder to unblock or correct than if the blockage is located towards the uterus. The articles I read were not comforting. Sometimes the tube is never able to function. Sometimes the tube needs to be totally removed because it can form a hydrosalpinx (WTF?) which can be embryotoxic.

That all sounds a little scary. I need to keep reminding myself that I still have one good tube. It is most definitely possible to get pregnant with one good tube. I need to stop thinking about this. No good can come from speculation. In less than 48 hours, I'll be talking to the doctor who will likely have some more information regarding my specific situation.

So I needed a break. One of my absolute favorite things to do when I need a break or I'm feeling bummed is to hang out with my dogs. One of their favorite things is to go for a ride in the car. All I have to do is say "Wanna a go for a ride?" and Bear and Binky go buck wild. They just love it, I don't know why. Hopping in the car and heading to Dunkin Donuts has become our ritual. I get an iced coffee and Binky and Bear get a biscuit when we go through the drive-thru. Honestly, as much as I want a baby, I get a little bit sad when I think about how we won't be able to do this whenever we want once a baby is part of the pack.

Bear in the back, licking up some crumbs.
Binky in the front, staring longingly at the biscuits.

I love these guys so much. I would've been a complete mess these past few months without them. They're such sweethearts. Whenever they see me cry, they run over to me and try to lick my face. It doesn't matter how I'm feeling, they always cheer me up!

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