Yesterday was a good day.
During my class, a man came in and asked if he could make an announcement about donating blood. They were all set up with a bus outside, but participation was really low. It's been awhile since I donated blood. Usually I'm ineligible because of where I travel, but it's been six months since I went to Central America. I know that my blood type is in high demand, so I thought - why not? I'm not pregnant and I'm a champion with needles so why don't I go make the most of it?
I wasn't sure if I would be allowed to do it since I've been so recently pumped up on so many meds, but I couldn't find any nurses to talk to. The only person near the bus was the man who came in to make an announcement so I sucked it up and went to talk to him.
I told him that I'd had a medical procedure recently - in vitro fertilization - and I wasn't sure if I was eligible to donate. I wondered if I needed to explain what IVF was, but he just said that the only issue was whether or not I was pregnant. When I told him no, he sighed and I could tell that he knew exactly what my 'no' meant. Sure enough, he said that he and his wife went through IVF three times before they had their son. He asked me how many cycles I'd done and when I told him it was our first try he just said "Don't give up". It wasn't in that douchey 'Relax - it happened for me/my sister's best friend's neighbor's daughter, so it will happen for you too' kind of way. It was just really, really kind and encouraging. He understood exactly what I was going through and it felt so good to hear that at such an unexpected time from such an unexpected place.
When I went to bed last night, I realized that I was feeling good. I am starting to feel like myself again. I know that it's going to take time and I'm still going to have bad days mixed in with the good ones, but I can feel the lump in my throat and the pit in my stomach getting smaller.
Today is CD1. I feel relieved. Now it's just another step in the right direction.