It wasn't really a surprise. I've had really bad cramps and headaches for a few days which is exactly how I feel before my period starts. I know lots of people say that they felt like they were getting their period for a BFP...but I just didn't feel like it was true for me. I had a really hard time hoping that the same feeling I've had for the past 20 failed cycles would lead to a different outcome this time. What's that people say about insanity?
I'm sad. I'm heartbroken for the little embryo that didn't make it and for the other 8 that we already lost. I'm terrified. I have no idea what we'll do next or when we can do it. I just feel really helpless.
Monday, I'll go in for the official beta test and hopefully we can schedule our WTF appointment sometime soon. I sort of don't even want to go to that because I'm pretty sure we're going to be financially benched indefinitely, but I guess it's good to hear what they think anyway.
Thank you so much for all of the support throughout this cycle (and the many before it). I don't think I would have gotten through it without all of you!
My heart breaks reading this, I'm so sorry. IF is so freaking unfair. I have thought about that insanity quote many times myself, I'm so sorry that this cycle didn't work out. I'm sending lots of love your way and if there's anything I can do, sticker spam included, please know that I'm here for you. <3 <3 <3
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Ana. My heart just aches for you. I wish there was more I could do beyond sending you a hug and letting you know I'm thinking about you. <3
ReplyDeleteI'm so so sorry Ana. My heart sank while reading this. I wish I could give you a big hug IRL. We're all here for you so if you ever need to talk, let us know. <3
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry hon <3 I've been thinking about you guys all week. Please let me know if you need anything.
ReplyDeleteI am SO sorry. My heart aches for you guys. IF sucks. Sending lots of ((hugs)) and positive thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. :( Sending big hugs your way.
ReplyDeleteI just came back to your blog today and was so sad to see your recent updates. I wish there was something to say that would make what you're going through better. We may not know each other in real life, but I swear this fertility bullshit makes a village out of all of us.
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone <3
ReplyDelete