FML

So today sucked.

I usually don't like to use the phrase "fuck my life" seriously because I have so much to be thankful for but today my life can go fuck itself.

Things started to head downhill this morning. For some reason, I started to worry about that blood work I had done last week. I logged into my insurance site and sure enough it said that the claim was "under review". Then I realized that there was a good chance that the testing would be considered infertility testing and I have zero infertility coverage. The charge for the test is a over $1000 dollars. I'm in big trouble if it's not covered. It was actually coded as "infectious disease testing" so maybe it will be covered, but I'm not counting on it.

I called Seth crying because I felt so bad. With the surgery and now possibly this, I've cost us so much money this month alone. I know this stuff isn't my fault, but I can't help feeling really guilty about it all. Of course, Seth doesn't want me to worry about it and I certainly wouldn't be blaming him if the situation was reversed, but I'm always really hard on myself.

Then, after lunch, I had a message from Dr. M's nurse Justine telling me to call her immediately. We all know that's never a good sign. I called her right away and she told me that the results from the culture of my incision infection showed that it was/is a MRSA infection. I think I said "Jesus Christ" or something equally inappropriate and Justine replied, "Right - so I guess I don't need to tell you that this is serious". She told me that they would to give me a new antibiotic immediately and that I needed to come in and see an "infectious disease" specialist. Really? I needed to hear that phrase twice today?

I started crying on the phone and I couldn't stop. Sure, I've heard horror stories about MRSA infections so I am worried about that aspect but honestly all I could think about was how expensive this could get. My new insurance doesn't start until September 1st, so right now I just have a crappy short-term plan. This feels like a nightmare. I mean, thank God, I found the temporary plan. It's not that awesome, but it's better than nothing. Justine was able to find a pharmacy that doesn't charge for the antibiotics so that's nice. Hopefully this won't require too many appointments or treatments.

Of course, the other thing I worried about was whether or not this would impact my "fertility". A MRSA infection near my reproductive organs scares the shit out of me. Even if it's not serious, we'll probably be benched again this month. I was so happy and hopeful. I should have known better.

I'm feeling okay now. I calmed down after Seth got home and I talked to my friends who know more about this than me. Tomorrow, someone will call and let me know when the doctor can see me. I just have to try not to think about anything for now. It is what it is and I'll have to figure out a way to deal with it.