If Plan A was fall in love, get married and have a baby (plus or minus some extra steps like travel, graduate and find a job), we fell a little short. By now I've accepted that that's not the way it happened or will happen for us. I'm more okay with that than I have been in a long time. I'm not sure where the good feelings are coming from. Maybe it's because I like my job so much and can see myself keeping this type of job for a long time. Maybe it's because going through all of this has made me realize even more how lucky Seth and I are to have each other.Who knows? But I feel good and I'm just going to roll with it.
It helps that we finally have our "Plan B" or "Plan Baby". On Friday, we had our appointment with Dr. M. It was great. He said that he was going to go through all of our options and then have us tell him what we're thinking and feeling. As he went through the options, I felt really relieved because he was sort of backing up everything that Seth and I had been feeling. He said again that he doesn't feel like Clomid/Femara + IUI makes sense for me. He said that injectible drugs + IUI could be a good option, but since we don't have any MFI issues and I have endo it really wouldn't boost our chances too much. It also costs about $2000-$3000 per cycle and comes with a high risk of multiples or cancelled cycles due to overstimulation. After he went over the different aspects of IVF, we got a chance to have all of our questions answered. Seth asked him at what point post-surgery does he start to think that natural conception probably won't happen. Dr. M said that if nothing happens by 4-6 months, he suspects that there is something else going on - too much microscopic endometriosis, a tubal problem, ovaries not releasing an egg or something like that.
So IVF it is. Seth and I feel really good about it and we told Dr. M that we're ready to take that step. Like I said before, we want to wait until January. Partly because we're traveling a lot for the holidays and partly because that will give us 4-6 full cycles to try on our own after surgery. In January, I'm supposed to call the IVF nurse to set up my pre-IVF appointments. I'll take birth control bills for a month (it's weird that the first time I'll ever take BCPs will be because I'm trying to get pregnant) and then the actual IVF cycle will hopefully be in February.
If I don't get pregnant on my own first, of course. We're only on our third cycle. Even if this cycle fails, we still have three more shots. I'm not looking at these cycles as our last chances; I'm thinking of them as bonuses. We're ready to do IVF. We feel like it's our best chance and we're prepared for the consequences and financial burdens (I'm not sure it's possible to prepare for the physical and emotional toll though) so if we happen to get pregnant between now and January - awesome! We will be beyond thrilled, of course. It just feels really good to finally have a back-up plan. Now if/when I start another CD1, I don't have to wonder how long we'll keep going on like this. Will we ever have a decent shot? Will anything ever be different? Now I know. If all else fails, we'll be taking some huge steps towards actually getting pregnant in just about 3 months. I can handle that.