A Scary Day

**** Warning: Fortunately, Baby and I are just fine but this post might include some triggers for those who have experienced a loss ****

Also, I don't tell short stories.

Sunday marked 15 weeks for me. That afternoon we returned to my parents house from our vacation (which was awesome - I'm so glad I got to spend time with everyone). I hadn't been drinking water yet because of the drive home, so I filled my water bottle and went to sit on the deck. I got up to get my phone, I got up to charge it, I got up to answer a text from my cousin. Everything was normal.

About five minutes later, I got up to get some fruit and more water and when I stood up my shorts felt really wet. The first thing I said was "How the fuck did my ass get so sweaty already?" but then I realized I was soaked. Maybe I peed? I went to the bathroom to see what was going on and everything looked okay there - no urine (I didn't drink enough for clear pee yet), no spotting or bleeding - just wet shorts. At this point, I was still joking around with my parents and sisters and we were trying to figure out what could have happened. My chair wasn't wet. I was sitting on a blanket and it was damp, but not nearly as wet as my shorts.

Fuck. Could it really be me? Is there something wrong?

My mom decided to do a google search to see if you really can have leaking without symptoms (you can). Finally we decided that since I was supposed to get on a plane in less than 12 hours, we should call the doctor. That's when we all started crying. My mom called her doctor who said that yes, google was correct, you can be leaking amniotic fluid without having other symptoms and she sent us to the ER of a local hospital.

I checked in at the ER, did a pee and blood test, sort of heard the baby's heartbeat, and then they sent me to the OB triage unit. When I arrived the nurse confirmed that I was 15 weeks pregnant, starts tapping on the computer, and then turns around giggling and smiling.

Worst Nurse Ever: So, you'll probably be happy to know that every.single.person that has come in leaking fluid today has been ruptured!
My Face: The fuck??
My Mom's Face: Looking horrified and about to start sobbing.
WNE: Yeah, something about the storms and the barometric pressure is causing everyone's water to break!
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Mom: Why would that be a good thing?
WNE: They're to term! They're having babies today!
Me: Well, I'm not.
Mom: She's only 15 weeks!
WNE: Ohhhh (insert giggling, I swear). Oh no, that wouldn't be good. (more giggling)

If I had any less self-control, that is when I would have told her to back the fuck away from me and don't come back.

I was doing pretty well up until that point. I know what it means to be losing amniotic fluid or having an open cervix at 15 weeks, but I wasn't convinced that I was the source of the fluid. Now I wasn't sure. My whole body started shaking like I was being electrocuted. Luckily, the doctor came in and handled everything else. I had a pelvic exam which was great - my cervix is still closed. They took a sample of fluid and it tested negative for amniotic fluid. The ultrasound showed that Baby is still hanging out in a nice fluid-filled sac and we could see the heart beating.

So, the obviously great news is that Baby is perfectly fine. I can't even describe how grateful I am. We have no idea where the fluid came from though. I would not be surprised if I'm peeing myself this early because my bladder was/is really affected by the endo. I just think it would have been more urine-y at that point in the day. It's also possible that I'm losing my mind and I didn't realize that I poured water on myself rather than drinking it, but I don't think I'm at that stage yet. Probably I'll never know.

I'm just going to take it easy for a few a days. I was so fucking scared. I was thinking that I did too much on vacation - maybe I didn't drink enough or maybe I shouldn't have been picking up my nieces. I thought whatever was happening was my fault. I have a few more weeks off from work, so I'm just going to do my best to rest and relax.

Thanks to everyone who sent their thoughts, prayers and well-wishes!