Official Post-lap Report

Today I was supposed to see Dr. M to check on my surgical site infection, but when I got there Justine said that he was going to do my full post-op appointment so that I didn't have to make two trips. I was nervous at first because Seth wasn't with me today, but I figured we had plenty of time to make decisions after I relayed the report to Seth.

First, Dr. M checked out my wound. He said it looks like it's healing fine which is great news. However, he still wants me to see an infectious disease specialist. He said that he doesn't have a lot of experience with MRSA and wants to make sure that I'm treated correctly. I'm glad that he was honest about it but I'm bummed that it's not over yet. My new insurance is a giant pain in the ass so I have to go see a PCP, get a referral from them, and then make an appointment with the specialist. Fun.

Next, we went to his office and Dr. M went over all of the results of my surgery. It was pretty much exactly what he and Seth discussed on the day of my surgery, with just a little more/different information.

1. I had Stage 2 endometriosis (very abundant, widespread, blah blah). Dr. M said that there wasn't enough to call it Stage 3 (no adhesions or scar tissue!) but there was absolutely enough to cause fertility problems. Almost all the endometriosis was removed.
2. A "strip of endometrium" (piece of tissue) and a small polyp were removed from my uterus. They were both benign. The "strip of endometrium" was pretty big, so now that it's been removed my uterus is nice and clear (thanks for the reminder). There were no other issues with my uterus.
3. The cysts were not on my ovaries like I initially thought but on both of my tubes instead. A large paratubal cyst was "obliterating the span of the fimbria" on my left side. A smaller paratubal cyst was also interfering with the fimbria on my right side. They "were both removed hopefully to improve ovum pickup". The cysts were also benign - everything was just endometrial tissue.

Dr. M said that the surgery went really well. He said he found exactly what he wanted to find. I'd have liked to have not found endometriosis at all, but I know what he means. At least we know what the problem is. Then he said something that I didn't expect. He says that he recommends that we do nothing for now. No treatment. Just try on our own for 3 to 6 months or however long we feel like it. He doesn't think clomid is a good fit for me and since we don't have an MFI issues, IUI wouldn't really be worth the extra money. Dr. M also said that he felt like I had a 50% chance of getting pregnant in the next six months.

I felt really, really disappointed. I cried. I cried in the office and I cried on the way home. Shouldn't I be happy that he doesn't think I need any additional treatment? I know that surgery is a form or treatment, but everything I've read seems to indicate that it may not really improve fertility rates. One study showed that the natural conception rate for women with Stage 2 endometriosis was only 44% for the first year after laparoscopic surgery. Two other studies reported that, even with superovulation, conception rates were only 2-15% per cycle for women with surgically treated Stage 1 or 2 endometriosis. Even Dr. M's "50% chance" just sounds like he's covering his ass. Really? You're 100% sure that I'll either get pregnant or I won't? Good to know.

Maybe I'm depressed or maybe this is the "IF brain" that I keep hearing about, but I'm having a really hard time feeling happy. I know that the surgery was important and helpful, I'm just having a really hard time believing that I'll be one of the lucky ones.

So that's that. We're just going to continue trying on our for who knows how long. I hate to end on a post on negative note though, so I'm going to try to focus on the positive.

The positive OPK I got today. YAY for a "normal" post-surgery cycle! The little smiley face is very comforting.

ETA: To be clear, I will be THRILLED if we don't need any other treatments. Obviously, that's what we always hoped would happen - to just get pregnant on our own. I'm just having trouble believing that it will happen that way and I'm afraid of giving the endo a chance to grow back. I'm just terrified of getting my hopes up too high.