Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Find a happy place!

I don't know what's wrong with me. I just cannot get out of this cloud of negativity. I'm dwelling and obsessing and feeling like a crazy person. It's so frustrating because when I'm staying busy, I feel totally fine and happy but then as soon as I have some free time my mood just plummets.The more time I have to think, the more completely out of control I feel. It's scary.

I need to stop thinking and feeling like I'm just wasting time waiting for the next three to six months to pass by. That's depressing. I want to actually enjoy my life, pregnant or not, so I thought it might help to try to focus on all of the things that I have to look forward to over these next few months. Hopefully this will help get me out of this rough patch and into a happier place. Maybe?

1. Halloween costumes for Binky and Bear
Look at that little guy! I think B&B will
be equally cute.
I was a little stressed out last year for Binky's first Halloween with us, so I never got around to finding costumes for them. This year I planned ahead and ordered (very cheap) costumes for them from Party City! They're both going to be Fire Chiefs. I'm can't wait until they're delivered. I'm sure Binky and Bear with love them.

2. Fito Blanko and Gocho mini concert
I mostly listen to Reggaeton/Latin pop these days and a few of my favorite songs are by Fito Blanko. He's a Panamanian guy who was raised and started his career in Toronto (any of you Canadians know of him?). This Saturday he's having a mini concert and I convinced Seth to go! I'm so excited. The opening act is the second to last game of the season for the Miami Marlins, so I guess we'll be watching a baseball game too :p

3. More classes
I received an email from my supervisor last week asking me if I was interested in teaching two more classes. Apparently one of the other adjuncts decided to move four weeks into the semester, so they need a replacement for two Earth Science labs. I said yes! It's awesome. It will be a little bit more work in terms of class time and grading, but I'm already doing all of the prep work for my other labs anyway. It's only a teeny tiny pay raise, but we can definitely use the extra money! And they asked me to fill out a schedule request form for next semester so I think there's a great chance I'll have a job in the spring too!

4. Wine
There are two chilled bottles of my favorite Cupcake wines in my refrigerator right now. I think wine will go well with the pasta that I'm making for dinner. I highly recommend Cupcake Sauvignon Blanc and Pinot Grigio.

5. Thanksgiving
We still have a lot of time before I really start getting excited for Thanksgiving but we just bought our tickets to fly home to see my family! I'm pumped. My parents came to visit for my surgery in August, but I haven't seen my siblings and my nieces since July. I think this will be the longest I've gone without seeing them (5 months). I'm really excited to see my nieces because T was only 9 or 10 weeks old in July - at Thanksgiving, she'll be 7 months! My other niece, A, will be 4 in December. She's definitely a little girl, not a toddler now :(

Realistically, I know that nothing is going to make my fear and sadness go away but at least I can find some ways to cover it up, at least for a few hours at a time.

I'll leave you with a little "Pegadito Suavicito" in case you need help finding a happy place too. This type of music always makes me want to have a dance party!


  1. I'm sorry you've been so down lately, this process can be so draining, an emotional rollercoaster. I think it's good to think about what's to come, it certainly helps to have things to look forward to. I am not always about pet costumes, but those are too freakin' cute! Can't wait for pics, which there better be ;) And congrats about the job! If there is ever anything I can do, please know that I am here - to bitch to, vent to, cry to, chat with, drink with - whatever you need, you're not alone. I think about you often and am always rooting for you. <3

    1. Oh, and I have not heard of him but am currently listening to the song you posted and having a 30 second dance party in my office. Those also help, FTR :)

  2. I'm sorry it's been rough. I'm around if you need to talk!
    On a positive note: I can't wait to see your guys in their Halloween costumes! I have been debating whether or not to get Parker a new costume this far he has been a pumpkin and Super Parker. Lol

    1. Oh yes - I remember his Super Parker costume! It's really cute. I think Binks and Bear will probably end up as Fire Chiefs for a few years. Unless they destroy the costumes first :P

    2. Can't wait to see the photos! Parker will probably re-use one of his costumes, but every time I see them in the stores, I want to get him another one! haha