Slow and Steady

Our consult with the IVF nurse was on Wednesday morning. I wasn't really sure what the expect, but it was awesome. I really, really liked the nurse (Nurse Jacki) and I hope I'll get to work with her a lot. During the meeting she went over the entire process so that we both know, more or less, what's going to happen and how everything is handled at the clinic. She also went over everything that we need to have done before we can start prepping for IVF:

1. Repeat CD3 blood work and antral follicle count for me
2. Repeat AMH
3. Send genetic screening results from OB to RE
4. Pap test
5. Infectious disease testing for Seth
6. Fill out consent forms

#1 and #3 can be done on CD2-4 of the cycle that I'm going to start BCPs. For #3, I just need to get my OB's office to fax the results to Nurse Jacki. #2 and #4 can be done on any day before we the BCP cycle. Once Dr. M has all of that information he'll come up with a protocol for me and N.J. will order my meds. (Bonus: We applied to another discount program and we'll get 50% off Gonal-F and Cetrotide!) The consent forms just need to be completed before we start stims.

So, when can we get started? In order to start BCPs on my next cycle, I would need the cycle to start on December 27th or later. That would put CD4 on Monday the 30th and everything would be fine. I'm pretty sure that I ovulated yesterday. That means I'd have to have a 15 day LP. That's probably not going to happen. It's happened a few times for me, but my average is only 13. Last month is was 12.

Even if I DID have a 15 day LP....I don't think Seth is ready. He wants to give it one more try. I get it. I would give anything to be able to get pregnant on our own, without any help, FOR FREE. That would be amazing. I just don't feel like that is going to be a reality for us. Seth is having a harder time accepting that, probably because he's not the one who's been temping and charting and getting a period for the last 17 months. He doesn't feel the build-up of hope and pain, followed by total emptiness. He's also worried about me. He said that he hated seeing me go through surgery and then the MRSA infection and he's not looking forward to seeing me go through the injections and ER. The look on his face when N.J. asked him if he'd be able to give me a trigger shot was priceless. I have faith in him though, he'll be fine.

So that's that. There is no way we're going to start this until Seth is 100% ready. It's going to be hard enough and there's no way I could do it without his full support. That said, I'm disappointed. I know that this is the right decision and I know that 4 extra weeks is not the end of the world, but I'm still bummed and I'm going to need a few days to get over it. I'm going into this with the expectation that if it's going to be successful, it's going to take more than one cycle. I'm afraid that we won't have time to do more than one cycle before we move (and I don't want IF to rule our lives and prevent us from moving home) and I'm afraid we're not going to be able to advantage of the program we're in right now.

For now, I'm just going to focus on trying to enjoy the holidays. My semester is almost over - my class has their final exam on Monday and then we're starting the long drive home. I'm excited to spend time with my family. It would be nice if my next period wasn't due on or around Christmas Day, but that's life and I'll get over it.