Sunday, December 8, 2013

Good Fortune

Last night, Seth and I went out for Chinese food. I love getting fortune cookies but I always get shit fortunes. The ones I get aren't even "fortunes", they're just statements. I'm always disappointed. We got our cookies before our meal and I didn't feel like waiting, so I ate my cookie first. This was my fortune:

Okay, fine, another fucking statement but at least this one made me smile. I thought it was really fitting that I got a fortune about hope after we just received our great news and I talked about how hopeful I felt the other day.

Seth's fortune was pretty fitting too:

I'm not sure if I really believe in signs and I'm not sure if I believe that everything happens for a reason. I do believe in looking for the positive or the bright side. For example, if Bear wasn't born with a bad kidney we would probably not have had the opportunity or desire to adopt another dog and we wouldn't have Binky with us now. If I had not been stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship while I was an undergrad, I probably wouldn't have ended up as a Geology major and I never would have met Seth. Those two things - Bear's health and the bad relationship - completely sucked, but I had so happy with how everything turned out that I really can't say that I regret anything that has happened. I would do it all over again as long as it always brings me to where I am now. 

Maybe someday I will feel the same way about IF and the past 16+ months. Someday I'll let go of the anger and the sadness and the cynacism and be able appreciate how much stronger, how much less anxious, and how much more grateful I have become. I really believe that will. I can get through this. I just need to remember to be patient and stay hopeful. 


  1. I <3 you - you WILL get through this. Great perspective on the sucky things bringing you to where you are now though. I always feel like that too. ((Hugs))

  2. I also try not to have regrets - everything has taught me something, for good or for bad, every experience has shaped me into who I am, so for that, I can be grateful. I look forward to the day when I can talk about IF like that, in the past, as something I went through, conquered, and came out stronger (with a baby in arms) on the other side. <3 you!

  3. You're exactly right. Everything that happens, brings us to where we are today & makes us who we are now. I look forward to the day this is behind us all. We will come through the other side of this exactly as Jaytee said, stronger & with a baby in arms! Love you! <3

  4. LOL I never get actual fortunes either! But I do actually enjoy eating fortune cookies!
    I hope that we can all look back on these crappy, stressful times and see that we survived! All while kissing our babies of course!

  5. You will never really let go of all the anger, sadness, and cynicism of IF, but you will embrace it in a new and different way. It will be that beast that you have slain, but the fact that you went through it will allow you to help others through it. You will give them hope, while having empathy in a way that a "normal" woman cannot. You will be unique to many in that way, and it is a very special and wonderful place to be. Day to day, it will feel as if you've forgotten and let it all go, and life will be merry. But when someone you care about goes through it, you will remember, and you will fight and pray just as hard for them as you did for yourself, because that's the kind of person you are. You are going to be my favorite SAIF story. <3